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Rockin' Rob's 'let me up, I've had enough' hoops report

Posted on Jan 19, 2013 by Rob Sherrell  | 

3 Comments  | 

Welcome to the Bulldawg Illustrated Basketball Report. We find ourselves on the horns of an enema three games into the conference schedule. We’ve played two really good teams and one not so good team. However, the result was the same in all three. That means we blew a chance to win a conference game and I promise you my friend those opportunities are few and few between for our beloved 2013 Hoop Dawgs.

We’ve been playing basketball since 1891 at UGA, but this year appears to be our first go at it. We’re at a point in the season where apathy spreads like mono at a kissing booth. If we don’t get some wins soon, not only could any building blocks for next year be impossible, but Mark Fox will be at Kinkos checking out resume templates. I sure hope he doesn’t have to deal with the same snarky SOB that I dealt with in ‘92. He smelled like raw sewage and his customer service skills stunk more. But I digress. Let’s get back to hoops!

Where have you been Vincent Williams? His 23 point out bust in Missouri Wednesday night was an explosion akin to the Nagasaki bomb! He’s been sandbagging the entire conference for three and a half years. Why, you ask? He’s just like Brody from Homeland. He was sent to UGA by Abu Nazir’s home team, the Florida Gators, to sabotage our Dawgs. But he’s had enough and Wednesday night proved it. With the back court of KCP and the “VW” luxury model, we’ll get 35-40 every night night going forward. That means we have a chance to move up from number 319 in the country in scoring! That really excites me. If we could just crack the 200s! I mean 299 is looking attainable this point. It’s also possible we could win a few games. And we have a golden opportunity tonight! But is there a possibility that scoring barage by the VW was a fluke? If so, does he go back to averaging less than five per game? And does the team fall to 320? I think not. It’s positive thought Saturday people. My shrink said so! As did that voice living in my head!

Let’s be honest. There’s not many teams worse than we are. We played one last Saturday and lost. However, we’ve got a shot at redemption tonight. The Baton Rouge Bengals come purring in. However, they resemble a timid shelter cat much more than a ferocious tiger. There record shows they’re 9-5. However, you can’t find as many cupcakes at Gigi’s as you can on their schedule. I didn’t even know a lot of the schools they’ve played existed. The good news for both of these teams is someone will leave the game with their first conference win tonight and my money is on the Dawgs!

It’s an 8 p.m. game, so go spend an hour or two with the wife or girlfriend today. Do something they like, something for them. Then take the kids to Chuck E Cheese too. Then around 6, start drinking. I promise you at the sixth or seventh beer, the team looks a lot better than they really are! Flag a ride to the Stegasaurus and get your cheer on! We need to win this one. We need to win several. A raucus home crowd can really help a bad team. It can also help Mark Fox. We don’t want him picking out what style of paper he wants from Pig Pen. Go Dawgs!

Tagged: uga hoops, georgia basketball, mark fox, vincent williams, kentavious caldwellpope, nemanja djurisic